Dylan Avery's 115th Dream
"I'd like to thank the members of the Academy, my co-producers, and especially our new President, Nancy Pelosi...."
(Voice in background): "Dylan! Dylan!"
"Vice President Conyers, for convening the impeachment proceedings the day after the new Congress was seated..."
(Voice in background): "Dylan!"
"It's me, Condoleeza Rice!"
"Dr Rice! What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to warn you--Don't get on that plane tomorrow!"
"But I've got to! My film's been nominated for Best Picture. I'm going to walk the Red Carpet with my new girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan!"
"Well, don't say I didn't warn you!"
"May I see your boarding pass and driver's license, sir?"
"But--but you're Marvin Bush!"
"Yeah, I'm in charge of security here at Dulles International Airport. Don't you remember? You mentioned me in your film. Now, may I see your boarding pass and driver's license?"
(Later, on the plane)
"Is this seat taken?"
"Mohammed Atta! You're still alive?"
"Of course I'm still alive. Don't you remember, you even said in your film that my father got a phone call from me on September 12th? I've got somebody I'd like you to meet."
"I wasn't too happy about what you had to say regarding my flying skills in your movie. But that's okay, you're going to find out just how wrong you are."
"Ohmigod! I gotta call the FBI!"
"Aw, crap, I forgot, cellphones don't work in airplanes."
"If you'll excuse us, we've got some work to do up in the cockpit."