New CompetitionLorie Byrd
over at Polipundit found out that John Fraude Kerry is soliciting tales of woe from military families and their friends:
Those who have stood for us should know that we stand with them, today and always. Share the story of a family you know that has endured hardship in service to our nation.Of course, we all know that Kerry has no real interest in helping out military families; he's just going to use these stories as a club with which to beat the Bush Administration. So here's the competition. Come up with the nuttiest "tale" you can devise that fits Le Fraude's request. One very important caveat: Let's not demean or diminish the very real sacrifices that our soldiers and their families accept on our behalf.
Here's my entry:
Dear John:
I am a Vietnam veteran who has endured much hardship in service to our nation. During my time in Vietnam, I personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
Well, actually, I mostly ran the filmstrip projector, but you have no idea what an instrument of torture that can be in the hands of a skilled operator.
Since I returned from Vietnam I have continued to serve our nation as a professor at one of our leading universities. Now I am under attack by the little Eichmanns on the Board of Trustees for exercising my freedom of speech. Please help in any way you can.
Sincerely,
Ward Churchill
