Gorevision--Coming to a Four Digit Satellite Channel Near You
Captain Ed
riffs off AlGore's announcement that his group has completed the purchase of a cable TV network on which to launch his new youth-oriented programming. Gork's stated goal is to "focus on public affairs and entertainment for 18-to-34-year-olds and it will not have a political affiliation". Given that, I think we could expect a program schedule like the following Saturday lineup:
8:00 AM FlipFlopMan teaches kids an important lesson about revising positions in light of changing political reality.
9:00 AM Democratic Hero Cartoons. In this week's episode, Ted Rall fights valiantly against the forces of modern day McCarthyism, and beats up a couple Rangers, just for fun! Plus KerryMan creates 10 million jobs his first day in office as the France agrees to become the 51st state, but evil CheneyBurton Corporation plots to steal his promised middle class tax cut.
10:00 AM Prison Beach Volleyball. Felons today, Democratic voters tomorrow.
11:00 AM Neocon Watch. Paul Krugman and Maureen Dowd debate whether a candidate's favorite rock and roll album is signicant in deciding for whom to vote. Madonna and Rob Reiner guest.
12:00 Noon WNBA action. Teams TBA.
2:00 PM Mr Ed. Ed runs for president but loses to a horse he considers his social and intellectual inferior.
2:30 PM The Munsters. Herman runs for president, but loses to a man he considers a stiff.
3:00 PM The Addams Family. Lurch runs for president, but loses to "Thing".
3:30 PM The Barbra Streisand Show. Guests James Brolin, Rosie O'Donell, Susan Sarandon and James Brolin.
5:00 PM Moderate Young News. Former porn star and AIDS victim Laura Roxx reads the news while stripping.
6:00 PM WNBA rebroadcast: See Noon
8:00 PM Veepstakes Reality Show. See 16 men and women debase themselves horribly in order win the title of John Kerry's lapdog. This week: 13 of the contestants shock the hosts by resigning from the show before it begins filming. Could Kucinich win it?
9:00 PM Best of Saturday Night Live: Spotlight on Al Franken.
9:05 PM My Friend Fidel. Oliver Stone shows the scenes that HBO cut from his last movie.
11:30 PM Micah Wright's Truth.
11:31 PM The Wit & Wisdom of Ted Rall.
11:32 PM Evening Signoff: the Iraqi National Anthem.